By Monday, I had started wrapping my brain around it. As tends to be my way, I made a plan to confront these demons of mine head on. I mapped out a few courses and actually found a route right alongside my usual neighbourhood loop. By mid week, I was mentally ready to take on this challenge of learning to love hills. And I really do believe that I need to start loving them, even if in a twisted way. Attitude is everything, and I need to embrace hills and the fear that goes along with them, if I want to be successful in this race. As I was rolling these things around my mind over the course of a few days, it occurred to me that, as with any major change in how we do things, sometimes our perception of reality hasn't caught up with the new reality. In moments of stress, our gut reactions revert back to what was before; what we' ve always known...positive or negative. We need to consciously re-program those reactions and rewrite our wiring to match the new paradigm. It became obvious to me through a few email exchanges with Coach, that this was exactly what was happening here. I'm not a life long athlete. And although I dabbled in 'running', I really didn't pursue triathlon seriously until I was over 40. I've never been good at running hills. But as I thought about whether my gut reaction was right, I realized that actually maybe I could run hills now. I thought about the Publix half, where I set a huge PR in March, and that's a damn hilly course. I thought about how I run the Shiloh loop now compared to a few years ago, and even running the course on Sunday - it might have been hilly, but I never once stopped to walk. Not so long ago I definitely would have. And so I knew I had to start changing this particular belief about hills if I want to be successful in 12 weeks. Hence the plan. I'm a planner, what can I say.
So yesterday I ran my 20 miles on the new route. God love Matthew for not laughing in my face earlier in the week when I talked about maybe doing one of the 10 milers on the new hilly route, and whether I should attempt both. As soon as I ran the first one, I knew what a silly irrational statement that was. But he's a smart boy, and probably knew I needed to figure that out for myself. Which I did. And so yesterday was 20 miles with 1300' of climbing. And I did it at a pretty good pace. Base 10 miler in the am was an 8'53 pace, and the afternoon's 10 miler was an 8'47 pace, with the last 2 miles at 7'52. And I did it all without an iPod too ;). Fight your fears head on, I say, and smash those old beliefs to bits. Leave no room for doubt. And, turns out this route is a damn fine proxy for Choo. Got the massive uphill, and hence the just as crazy downhill. Hard to say for sure, because there are differing reports depending on what map you look at, but I think the 1300' I did yesterday in 20 is about the same, or potentially a little more, as the full marathon in Choo. So this route is now my new best friend. Come 9/28, I'm going to be a master at these hills ;)
Something else happened too. Through the conversations this week about the course, and how best to run it, bits and pieces about running form started fitting together in my brain. I've had most of the puzzle pieces all along but they weren't ever forming the complete picture -- I think I was missing some of the edge pieces that hold it all together. As an Agile Coach in my day job, I've learned that you need to be okay with saying the same thing over and over to the same people over time, because experiences and new knowledge allow them to hear it differently each time you say it. I can tell someone something half a dozen times and they don't get it, and then magically on the 7th try, over a period of a couple of months or even longer, suddenly the lightbulb goes on. A good coach knows this, and doesn't tire of saying the same thing. And I love when I see this happen - it's a highlight of the work I do. This is exactly what happened to me this week. Yesterday, I became a better runner. There is no doubt in my mind. Finally I understood what it means to run from your core, and how it feels to run properly. And it was kind of magical. Especially on the downhills. And man. What a confidence boost I got from running the course I was so afraid of. Thanks Coach for giving me that final missing corner piece that made it all come together.
Beliefs. Our brain is so powerful yet so stubborn sometimes. We must train ourselves to use that power for good! For the longest time, well past demonstrable proof, I did not think of myself as an artist...I'd been the Math and Science girl most of my life. Others saw it, in my eye for design, in my glass art, now in my metalsmithing, but not me. I call myself an artist now. The same was true for sport. Despite all the hours of training and some successful races, I never saw myself as an athlete. In fact it was Luis who said to me a while back, like it or not, you are an athlete - get used to it. So there are probably still a few recesses of my mind that give me the funny look when I say I'm an athlete, but I'm getting there. The mind is a powerful tool. We sometimes have to consciously make it catch up to believe the new things we are capable of. Sometimes we need to really examine these beliefs, these irrational fears, and just blow them apart with irrefutable proof. I did that yesterday.
Turns out I can run hills. I am a hill runner ;)
Happy Training everyone. Go blow apart some old beliefs.
Kat
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